Fourth Treatment, DONE.

I have completed my fourth round! Which means only two more. I am so grateful and happy to be in this position. This round has been pretty hard. I still get very sick, but my body seems to overcome it. Our bodies are truly amazing. Each treatment, I am amazed at how quickly things can turn around and my body presses on. My body is tired. I feel more fatigue, but it keeps going. My hope in the future has been lacking, and I need to work on it. I told Robbie how I just wanted 5 years of "normal." I just wanted 5 years of no health problems and no major life changing issues. I told Rob how I wanted just to be a wife and mom and be able to have my babies. I wasn't asking for money or no problems at all, just the "normal problems." 5 years is that too much to ask? Rob kicked me into gear  which was probably just what I needed. How quickly I have forgotten where my time comes from, my Heavenly Father. The "normal" life is one to be so grateful for. Those things that we think we are entitled to are not ours, but HUGE blessings and gifts. Even now, I am blessed with so very much. I found this Mormon Message and it proves to be my favorite yet. While I do not think that God gave me cancer, I have NO doubt that this was my plan, and this is what I needed to be what God wants me to be. 

One of the hardest parts about going through this treatment has been my inability to serve others. I have been so tired and weak that I haven't had the opportunity to serve. I was Relief Society president before I got married, and loved serving there. I thought about "my girls" all the time. I was given an abundant amount of love for each individual girl. I felt God's love for them, and I just wanted to help them in any way I could. Now, I feel like I am focused on myself and am too weak to really serve those around me. I am forever grateful for those that have served me. I am grateful for friendships I have developed but I am ready to serve again. Service brings so much happiness and fulfillment in our lives. I have gained a greater testimony of service by not being able to serve, however crazy that sounds!